Richard Dean Anderson

This is the first entry is what will be a series of posts regarding "Man Crushes".
Entry the first is the man himself, Richard Dean Anderson. Now you may think that a man that goes by 3 names is going to inherit the title of being a presidential assassin. Well with this mans cunning, ingenuity, wit and general good guy attitude i would be surprised if he ever killed a man in cold blood.

RDA should be known for his two amazing roles that constitute a large portion of his acting career. The first being the fucking amazing Angus Macgyver.

Behold the feathered mullet.

Now, for those of you not familiar, this suave man was a secret agent with a particular cunning towards making fantastically awesome objects out of otherwise insignificant objects. He did so with such ease that to supply him with anything would be the equivalent of turning yourself in.

The second, and my personal favourite of his personas is Colonel Jack O'Neill from the show Stargate SG-1. His role is to lead the exploratory airforce team SG-1 through a stargate and do battle with various fiendish factions across the galaxy.

He is cool, calm, collected, witty, funny and one badass action hero that i would rate on par with Jean-luc Picard, Han Solo and Angus Macgyver.

There is nothing to not love about him.

The Fly (Pants content)

I cannot imagine myself in a world where I have to pull down my pants in order to whip my dick out just to take a leak. The urinal/public bathroom experience would be exponentially more awkward or even leave you more vulnerable to RAPE.

The solution is so simple in retrospect, create a trapdoor for you to whip your wiener out that becomes resealable thereafter. The world has been improved 100 fold since this creation as the rate of unwanted sodomy has decreased. Good times for all.

The multiple variants are responsible for this ideas success:
The zipper fly that is used primarily for pants
The velcro fly that is usually found on snowpants
The 1-2 button fly most commonly found on boxer shorts/boxer briefs.
The full button up fly for those who have had negative experiences with zippers
The overlap fly or the "brief" way

There truly is something for everyone.
No matter what your preference there is something out there that allows you to rock a piss without leaving yourself vulnerable to inclement weather conditions (cold), full on exposing yourself in public, and protecting yourself from some recreating an episode of HBO's OZ. Also, you can get a blowjob without pulling down your pants, can you say convenience?

I encourage everyone to rock out with their cock out to truly appreciate how far society has come.

Teflon

This marvelous polymer has two practical purposes that allow me to give a boner inspired salute to Roy Plunkett. Polytetrafluoroethene, a name that flows beautifully off the tongue like semen from a porn stars mouth.

First off, i fuckin' love my teflon frying pan. I don't know what i would do without it, probably resort to some barbaric stainless steel pan or some other piece of shit.
This pan allows me to use less oils while cooking, which will limit my lipid intake which will mean i am healthier. Long term, teflon frying pan will EXTEND MY LIFE.
Not to mention it is easier to clean than blood off a dashboard.

Second off, teflon tape is a must for any self proclaimed handy man, such as myself. I use it on my paintball stuff, but i can also use it for plumbing. Multipurpose tape to stop leaks of the fluid or pneumatic type. Let the good times roll.

I salute you teflon, your nonstick properties have improved life for trillions of people.