The Fly (Pants content)

I cannot imagine myself in a world where I have to pull down my pants in order to whip my dick out just to take a leak. The urinal/public bathroom experience would be exponentially more awkward or even leave you more vulnerable to RAPE.

The solution is so simple in retrospect, create a trapdoor for you to whip your wiener out that becomes resealable thereafter. The world has been improved 100 fold since this creation as the rate of unwanted sodomy has decreased. Good times for all.

The multiple variants are responsible for this ideas success:
The zipper fly that is used primarily for pants
The velcro fly that is usually found on snowpants
The 1-2 button fly most commonly found on boxer shorts/boxer briefs.
The full button up fly for those who have had negative experiences with zippers
The overlap fly or the "brief" way

There truly is something for everyone.
No matter what your preference there is something out there that allows you to rock a piss without leaving yourself vulnerable to inclement weather conditions (cold), full on exposing yourself in public, and protecting yourself from some recreating an episode of HBO's OZ. Also, you can get a blowjob without pulling down your pants, can you say convenience?

I encourage everyone to rock out with their cock out to truly appreciate how far society has come.

Teflon

This marvelous polymer has two practical purposes that allow me to give a boner inspired salute to Roy Plunkett. Polytetrafluoroethene, a name that flows beautifully off the tongue like semen from a porn stars mouth.

First off, i fuckin' love my teflon frying pan. I don't know what i would do without it, probably resort to some barbaric stainless steel pan or some other piece of shit.
This pan allows me to use less oils while cooking, which will limit my lipid intake which will mean i am healthier. Long term, teflon frying pan will EXTEND MY LIFE.
Not to mention it is easier to clean than blood off a dashboard.

Second off, teflon tape is a must for any self proclaimed handy man, such as myself. I use it on my paintball stuff, but i can also use it for plumbing. Multipurpose tape to stop leaks of the fluid or pneumatic type. Let the good times roll.

I salute you teflon, your nonstick properties have improved life for trillions of people.